"Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty," said our fashion guru, Mr Derek Zoolander. No one will mistake you for a mermaid with these Blue Merman SOXKS, but be warned that people may think you, like Derek, are ridiculously good looking. Sadly, after vigorous testing we have discovered that these SOXKS will not make you any faster in the water. Indeed, they will slow you down considerably. The Blue Merman SOXKS did pass one test, however; we discovered that while wearing these bad boys during a dance-off you’re pretty much guaranteed to win. Which is nice.